Materials needed:

• Baseboard:  1 pc. 1 x 5 plank, 23 inches long.
• End boards:  2 pcs. 1 x 5 planks, 11 inches long
• Center rails: 2 pcs. 1 x 2 furring strips, 21-1/2 inches long
• Side rails:  4 pcs. 3/8 inch thick plywood, cut
  2-1/2 x 32 inches
• 20 fiberglass festival ball mortar tubes (#PL3182)
• 46  pcs. 1-1/2 inch drywall screws

• Wood saw (table-saw or chop saw if you cut your own wood pieces)

Figure A:  Use mortar tubes to support
1 x 2 furring strip center rails while attaching to base.

Attach the end boards.  Screw the two 5 x 11 end boards to the outside edges of the 5 x 23 base board. (Set your screws through the bottom of the base board into the each end board–see figure A and B.) 

Figure B:  Screw placement for 1 x 2
center rail

Next, install the center rails.  Place one of the 21.5 inch furring strips on its edge, directly in the center of this base (see figure A). It’s helpful to lay the base on its side and use several tubes as spacers to support this bottom center rail.  Then attach the rail by screwing through the ends and bottom, as shown in figure B. Attach the top center rail frame as shown in figure A, screwing into it from the end boards.

Figure C: Mortar tubes should fit flush
with each side of the base board in the unfinished frame

Check your spacing.  You should now be able to place mortar tubes on either side of the center rails with the edges of the mortar tubes flush with each edge of the base board as shown in figure C.

Figure D: Placement of lower side rail

Attach upper and lower side rails.  Stand your mortar rack up on its base (see figure C).  Screw one of the 2-1/2 x 32  plywood side rails to the base and end boards as in figure D. Once the lower side rail is screwed in place, attach one side of the upper side rail flush with the top corner of one end board as shown in figure E. If the rack is not completely square, pull in the opposite end flush with the side rail to square the sides–attach that end. Flip your mortar rack and attach side rails to the other side as well.

Figure E: Plywood side rails
screw attachment

Test fit the tubes in the finished frame. They should fit snugly, but you should be able to remove them for cleaning later on.

The mortar rack you just finished may feel stable on a perfectly level, flat surface.  But it will need to be supported when it is in use. This can be done by adding support legs or braces to the ends of the mortar rack, or staking the mortar rack in place, or screwing several mortar racks together to form a larger footprint. It’s not important how you secure your mortar racks, just that you do secure them.

The orientation of your mortar rack to the audience is critical to their safety. If a shell explodes inside a mortar tube, it will tend to blow out the weakest part of the mortar rack. The weakest part of this rack  are the plywood side rails. And if the side rails are blown out, this could mortar tubes to fall over. So, it is important to orient your mortar rack so that any falling tubes would be aimed away from your audience. This prevents mortar shells from being fired directly into the audience, which can be very dangerous. Therefore, when you set up your display, orient your mortar rack so one end board is facing the crowd.  See figure F below.

Figure F: Safest mortar rack orientation toward audience–perpendicular to them. In the
event of a failure the mortar tubes will fall parallel to your audience. Note stabilizers
on each end and stakes holding the mortar rack in place.

Make a Festival Ball Fiberglass Mortar Rack is a post from: Confessions of a Fireworks Man

If you’ve been following my trip to China to buy fireworks for Skylighter, you’ve seen me mention Matt Palaszynski.  While I was on the road, Dave, one of Skylighter’s customers, asked me to contact a particular Chinese fireworks company in Liuyang for him.  He had had several phone and email interactions with the Chinese company and was considering ordering some fireworks from them.

I hooked my customer up with Matt.  Here’s a slightly edited copy of Matt’s letter to Dave, my customer.  The important thing is this.  It is VERY HARD for us in the US to deal directly with any Chinese fireworks factory (or sales agent) right now.  I would not advise it, unless you are prepared to have your own translator, make several long and expensive trips to China for each order you place, and have low expectations of delivered product quality.  You simply have no idea what the complexities are, nor how many things have to be handled correctly in order for you to get your order.  Matt’s letter to Dave is right on target.

————————-

Dave,

Don’t know if you care to hear my pitch, but…

I will start by saying that I think [name deleted] is a good company.  They have been around for awhile, have an established customer base, and are legitimate.

However, they are not a factory.  They are a fireworks trading company.  Which is exactly the same thing that my company is–a fireworks trading company.  We take orders from you and we place and manage orders with various China factories.

For the most part, factories do not sell direct.  They sell through trading companies like [name deleted] and my company.  I guess about the only way that I can prove this to you is through our pricing.  I am fairly confident that I can meet or beat any prices that [name deleted] is offering you.  Not that you want to buy from the lowest bidder, however.  My point it that if they were a factory, they should be much cheaper that I am.  I am willing to bet that I can compete pretty much head to head, as I am willing to bet that they are buying from the same factories that I am.

Harry at Skylighter’s point is that you don’t want to deal directly with a factory.  He is correct in that most factories are not set up for sales.  Legally, they do not have government export licenses, and commercially they typically do not employ sales staff.  A good factory is just that, a factory.  It is the trading company that invests the time to understand the customer requirements and transfer them into technical manufacturing documents that the factory uses to produce to your specs.   That service is part of the value that we add to earn our profit.

Finally, I think my company has been successful due to our deep knowledge of fireworks and our professional business structure.   I don’t know Julie at [name deleted], but I know her job profile.  She most likely graduated from the Changsha or Liuyang foreign language institute with a 2 year degree in English.  She is probably anywhere from 18 – 25 years old.  She probably has never shot a Class B display herself.  I can guarantee that she has never shot one in the USA.  She is paid a very low fixed wage and she is given a commission for all new customers that she brings in.   She most likely does not get a whole lot of support from [name deleted].  Because of the desire of the company to quickly grow, she is expected to coordinate most of the details of your order.  Critical details like factory down payments, production schedules, and shipping are often to be dealt with after the customer contact has been signed.  I am certain that she is pleasant, bright, and very hard working.  Most likely, she can spend an inordinate amount of time on you… most likely because you are one of her only potential customers.  Maybe she will get lucky and all the details will fall into place for her.  Maybe not.   She does not have much to lose… as opposed to you.

My company is also a Liuyang Trading Company.  Yes, I am an American, but I am not your competitor.  I only sell full containers direct from China.  I do not wholesale or retail in the USA.  I don’t shoot displays.  Right now almost 50% of my business is manufacturing private label product for some of the USA’s biggest companies.   We have a large account right there in MO.  We manufacture for large US fireworks retailers whose names you know, including Skylighter.   So, if you are looking for your own brand, we can help. 

I have years of first-hand experience in fireworks displays and consumer fireworks design in the US market.  Our staff all have deep experience;  even our equivalent of Julie was the teacher at the Liuyang foreign language institute, not just the student.  None of our staff are paid by commission.  I personally think it just leads to problems in the long run.  I see lots of upfront sales effort and then little follow through for commission based employees.  We stick it out to the gory end with each of our customers. For the most part, I am the main person to interface with the customer to ensure the smoothest communication.

All the best,

Matt

————————-

What Matt didn’t say, and I want to elaborate on, is this.  You need someone to shepherd your order through the whole process.  From specifying what you want to getting it delivered to your doorstep, if you do not have someone like Matt managing the process, you are in for a lot a trouble and disappointment.

Bottom line:  if you want to import Chinese fireworks, and you have never done it before, do not try this at home.   Questions?

Harry Gilliam
Chinese Fireworks Importer Survivor

Pitfalls of Buying Fireworks In China Yourself is a post from: Confessions of a Fireworks Man

Currently sitting in the Lucky Shamrock Irish Pub in the Changsha airport waiting for my connection.  The Shamrock’s décor is somewhere between a purple and a pink–that’s what Irish green morphs into after it’s been in China awhile.  On the menu are 14 kinds of tea.

"Make mine oolong," I I say to Su Ling, the pretty waitress.

Big steaming beer mug o’ oolong lands on the table with about a pint of loose tea leaves inside.  Mmmm.

Today started with emails at 5:45 am.  Then, breakfast with Matt where, as usual, we plot the complete overthrow of the fireworks industry. 

If we ever do 1% of what we dream up at these breakfasts, we’ll die rich men, and be interred in burial mounds outside Liuyang.  They’ll surround our central tomb areas with thousands of cakes, fountains, and sparklers all laid out in the outline of the United States.  Our actual bodies will be draped in great lengths of Tau strings, and protected forever inside locked forty foot cargo containers, with two ATF-approved 1/4 inch thick steel covers over the locks, to protect from tomb robbers and 27th century archeologists.

After breakfast, we say our goodbyes and Matt hands me off to the same lunatick driver we had the other night, who just dropped me here at the airport.

Shortly, I am to meet David, the chemical guy, here at the airport to examine an assortment of rare and unusual fireworks chemicals, many of which we haven’t seen in the US in 30 years.  Stuff like realgar, which we cannot find anywhere, anymore, at a price mortals can afford.  He wants to sell me vast quantities of them.  Let’s see, two guys in the parking lot in front of a big airport hunched over a plastic baggie of white powder…. hmmm.  I can see how this could go… 

"It’s not what you think it is, officer.  Officer?  Officer?  Officer, do you speak any English?"

Blank stare.  Uh, oh.  More officers.  No smiles.  Oh shit.

After I meet David and hopefully elude the chemical police, my plane is supposed to leave at noon for Shenzhen down on the coast right next to Hong Kong an hour and 15 later.  If… all goes according to plan and schedule.  Then catch a shuttle bus from the airport to the Hong Kong Ferry, which leaves at 2:30–tight connection.  If not, wait around for the next one to leave at 4:30.

As soon as I know which ferry I’m on, I’ll call Mark on my cell phone using my China phone chip and tell him my arrival time in Hong Kong.

He will then leave from somewhere inside China, and drive to Hong Kong with a box of Sky Lanterns for me to see.  As soon as I get off the Ferry, I will quick scramble out and up the street to the cell phone store and hope to God it’s still open Sunday afternoon, and get more minutes put onto my Hong Kong phone chip, because the China phone chip does not work in Hong Kong, and the Hong Kong chip is outa minutes, which I cannot just replenish with a simple phone call to an 800 number with a credit card.  Noooo.  Then switch chips on the phone and wait for him to call me.

Then I will scurry further down the street and check into my hotel.

Once Mark arrives, me and him will go out on the parking lot on top of the big cruise ship pier sticking out into the harbor in front of the hotel, with ocean liners on each side, and light one or two of those suckers and send ‘em up into the air over the middle of Hong Kong and find out if you can get put in jail for violating some arcane law against launching UFO’s in the middle of one of the most densely populated cities on the planet called Earth.

Then we will slink back into the hotel and get drunk, laugh at our good fortune, speculate on what laws we may have violated, and do a deal on some Sky Lanterns.

Somewhere in all that, I will need to find Ricky Law, and confirm that I will meet him at the Ferry dock in Zhu Hai tomorrow morning, so he can give me a tour of his mammoth tusk carving factory.

I’ll let you know what percentage of all this stuff actually happens.

UFO Seen Over Hong Kong Harbor!!!!

Everything worked according to plan.  It’s now around 8 PM.  Mark has arrived with the Sky Lanterns.

Now, gaze down from your imaginary hotel room upon the concrete toppa the pier stretching out before you perhaps a football field long.  Many Chinee-Sunday-shopper BMW’s parked thereupon.  Three cruise ships flanking the swanky cars.  Two guys, hunkered over a glowing flame-bag.  Coupla Indonesian women standing by, watching, waiting.

What the hell is that?!  Combo parking lot attendant, uniformed security guy with rank-stripes on his shoulders semi-authoritatively moseys over (this IS Red China, donchu forget) to the flaming bag guys.

"Howda hanga pitty banga row!" assertively wagging one finger first AT the glowing bag, then side by side as if to censure the thing.

"Uh huh, just watch," instructs the Virginian to the Chinaman, bluffing, not knowing at the time if he is dissing a cop or ignoring a parking lot attendant, the Canadian still trying to wrassle the glowing bag in the 10-knot wind, the two Indonesians expertly saying nothing.

The glowing bag sways, starts to lift.  The wind smooshes the hot air out of its soft sides momentarily.  Then the Canadian, adept at bag launchings, feels the sensual swell of the hot air as it fills the paper to bursting, as it nears its climactic rising… rising, ever hotter, swelling, swelling against the strong Chinaman’s censorial finger, the finger wagging, wagging, instructing the keepers of the bag-flame to cease, to somehow stop this thing, right now, for it must be illegal, and then…. and then, right at the edge of all sanity…

Right on the edge of all control, the Canadian yields to the softness of the hot bag, to the throbbing heat on the sides of the softness he gently holds in his hand, and he knows, as only a man can know, that the release is near.  So very near, and he simply takes his hands away.

And she soars; she soars out over the rail of this giant concrete pier, up, up into the night, as only the lightness of a woman can.  But then she drops, as if abandoned at her moment of ecstasy by her lover, she drops.  Getting colder now, she drops over the side, and down toward the cold of winter’s South China Sea.  And all, even the wagging fingered Chinaman, all watch to see her as she is about to drown in the cold of the harbor, and she dips ever lower, grazing just past the incredulous lower deck man and his wondering gaze.

And she goes right for the water, as if to drown her sorrows, her sadness at losing the Canadian’s soft caress… and then… and then… she lifts just an inch or two above the water.  And holds herself there, quivering there, for a moment.

And then, she swells, she swells as a woman’s breast swells at the touch of her lover, and she heaves another precious foot above the grasping wave tops, as all on the pier wait breathlessly.

And she lifts yet another foot or so, swelling even more.  And the wind catches her and starts to move her flaming, glowing swollenness out across the light green of the harbor, and finally… UP!  She lives!  She LIVES!

She was still going up when we lost her among the clouds, out about a mile from the pier, her spirit soaring perhaps two thousand feet above and out and away from all her earthly bonds.

And this night, we were not consigned to the jail of the Red Chinee.  Once again, the pyros triumphed.

Click here to view a video of a Skylantern being lit.

Question for all of you:  What are the best uses for Sky Lanterns?  Do you need to know anything more about them?

Harry Gilliam
Chief of UFO Launch Facility, Hong Kong

An Improbable Travel Schedule is a post from: Confessions of a Fireworks Man

My agent over here, Matt Palaszynski, lives in Wisconsin with his wife and kids.  He commutes to Liuyang for weeks at a time, and manages the process well from either place.  His job is to get the fireworks made that companies like Skylighter order, get them packed into containers and shipped to us in the US.  Part of what that entails is testing the fireworks.

And testing fireworks every night.  Basically, you load the car with people and fireworks and drive around ’til you find a place where you want to shoot.  Then, everybody piles out, and we start watching how each firework item performs.  Videos are made of each particular firework fountain, cake, rocket, or whatever.  Notes are taken, critiques given, and instructions for Matt’s people to pass along to the various factories. 

"Change the elapsed time of this cake from 17 seconds to 14.  Make the last shots all green, not red."

"We told them we wanted a silver-tailed star, not the orange one." 

You and I mostly take all this for granted.  But you cannot begin to imagine the number of details that have to be handled.  And if you don’t, you get a mess.  My favorite was the shipping carton whose contents were clearly labeled in big, bold letters:  "20 Inch Sparkler — Needs Better Performance."

Matt patiently goes over it all.  Annie takes notes in Chinese and translates for the guys who have to interface with the factories.  So it goes, every night.  Working in Liuyang is a 14-16 hour day.  Everybody, including yr. hmbl. svt., works 7 days a week like this.  Except I get to go home.

This process goes on for hundreds of 40-foot container-loads of fireworks, each containing about a thousand cases of many different kinds of fireworks.  And for the US consumer fireworks market, most of that fireworks production crammed intensely into the time slot between September and April.  After April, it’s almost too late to get any fireworks made and shipped to the US in time for the Mighty Fourth of July.

The Coming Fireworks Shipping Crisis

This year, the window is even tighter.  This year, there’s a major fireworks shipping problem.  A series of shipboard accidents have resulted in there being fewer ship companies who will carry fireworks any more.  That reduction in carrying capacity is quickly looming ahead of us.

Matt says the real squeeze has started.  Some shipments are being delayed a couple of weeks.  By March, he expects the delay to be perhaps, fatally long.  The Fourth of July fireworks containers are going to be piling up, waiting for a ship, which will take them.

His prediction is that as much as 30% of the product which has been ordered for this year’s July Fourth season may not make it to the US in time.  Supply and demand being what it is, that, of course will mean higher prices at the fireworks stand. 

But the snowballing shipments jammed up at the ports will also create a supply and demand situation for shipping.  The few remaining ocean shippers willing to handle fireworks product will start to charge more.  Much more.

Matt thinks you’re really gonna feel it in your pocketbook this year.  My advice:  Whether you’re a dealer or a fireworks user/addict, if you know what you want, get it as soon as you can from dealers who already have it stock.  If you snooze, you lose.

Last Day in Liuyang:  The Confetti Cannon Factory

I have decided to try selling confetti cannons.  They’ve been around for a few years.  But I have resisted selling them.

I took a bunch of them to my friend, Christopher’s house on New Year’s Eve, and they were the hit of the party.  Bright red, white, and blue Mylar confetti was everywhere within minutes.  And people were REALLY having a ball shooting them.  That’s when I got sold on confetti cannons.  I really had no idea that confetti shooters could be so much fun for people.

I think they are a natural for just about any festivity, and in particular indoor weddings.  We already sell a lotta sparklers to pyrotechnically inclined brides who want to have a sparkling exit from their receptions.  Confetti cannons look to me like a natural complement to wedding sparklers.  Clearly people love ‘em, so you add some fun and excitement during the indoor part of a wedding reception, where the confetti and streamers can easily be vacuumed up.  You can put confetti cannons on all the tables for the guests, and at the appointed time, if the in-laws are all still controllable, everybody blasts them up into the air at the same time.

There’s nothing pyrotechnic or hazardous in them, so they can be shipped anywhere as fast as you need them.  That’s a good thing:  customers are forever calling on Friday to get stuff for a wedding on Saturday.

Matt had a couple of prototype confetti cannons at the office.  I had requested red Mylar hearts and silver streamers.  But, they weren’t quite right.  So, we ask the confetti cannon factory owner if he can do smaller hearts, and thinner, shorter silver streamers.  I can tell he thinks we don’t know what we’re talking about.  Sure enough, through Annie, he says that doing what we ask will make a shorter blasting effect.

I explain that I want these made for indoors, with shorter distances to cover and lower ceilings.

"Ahhhh so," says the owner in Chinese.  I ask for 4-mm wide, silver Mylar streamers; he can do 6 mm.  We agree.  He asks how long.  I guestimate (how the hell do I know?) one meter long streamers.

"Okay, okay, okay.  How many," asks he.  24 in a box.  4 boxes per case.  40 cases.

"Okay, okay, okay.  Which label?"  Too late to get a wedding label designed.  We pick a label he already has, conveniently written in Engrish.  Don’t laugh; the best looking one was in Russian.

"Okay, okay, okay.  When you need?"  January 31st.

"Ohhhhhhh…," he says in Chinese.  His expression goes south.  Only two weeks.  He confers with his wife.  They jibber-jabber some.  We poker-face and wait patiently.  This goes on for a few moments.  The trick, we know, is to get everything completed and shipped to us before the 10-day Chinese New Year starts early in February.  At that point, everything Chinese stops.  Nothing gets made and nothing gets shipped until afterward, as much as two weeks later.  And with fireworks carriers being scarcer and scarcer, we don’t wanna risk that. 

We want our container on the water the first week in February.  He looks up.

"Okay, okay, okay."  And that deal is done.

Pop-quiz question; let’s see who’s really paying attention.  The building behind me in the picture has a slanted, lower wall.  It’s an old warehouse, now recylced by our (new) fiberglass mortar manufacturer and the confetti cannon guy.  But in its former life it was used to store something else, that needed those slanty lower walls.  What?

Harry Gilliam
Chief Cook & Confetti Shooter

Fireworks Testing in Liuyang is a post from: Confessions of a Fireworks Man

As we pull up, I notice the housekeeping is better than most fireworks factories.  The building looks clean, not much litter outside (unusual at a fireworks factory).  The owner greets us, takes us inside, and sets us up with tea all the way around.  He looks clean cut, well dressed, a bit yuppy by Chinese standards, and looks us square in the eye when he talks. 

We look at samples of sparklers and packages.  Some big name US fireworks vendors.  Good sign.  Sparklers made for companies and countries all over the world:  the US, Sweden, Russia.  So, he’s not just making product for internal, Chinese consumption.  He knows about exporting—also good.

We test-burn some stuff.  More good news.  His number 20 golds burn more steadily than mine, have a wider spark radius, and are made on a straighter piece of wire.  We burn a bunch of other stuff, including some cute leetle beety 5-inchers.  All looks very good.

He tells us his factory is only 6 years old.  We go for a walking tour of his buildings, all spread out for safety around the side of several hill, and set in some kind of conifers, huge bamboo, and ferns.  Nice atmosphere.  Again, the place gets the good housekeeping Gilliam seal of approval.  We go into a building and watch some sparklers being packaged.  Lotsa gals sitting on stools packing stuff (no child labor, by the way, as is oft-rumored in our US press).

We check out the other buildings.  There are a couple with a very large quantity of #8 golds hanging up to dry in wooden racks.  This is not high tech stuff.  A lotta hand work.

One red light, though.  It’s dark in the building they’re working in.  No lights.  No heat, either (but no heat is normal here, even in downtown retail establishments.)  He also does not have many people working.  Could that mean his business is “off?” 

That could be good for us – he could be hungry.  Or it might be bad:  if we give him a big order, does he have the people and capital to produce it?  On time?  Perhaps his business is so young that he’s undercapitalized.  But his plant looks good.  And I put a lot of stock in that.  As Tom Peters wrote in his book, In Search of Excellence, when you get on an airplane, and you pull that tray table down, and it’s sticky and stained, you’re bound to wonder how well they take care of the engines.

Matt and I agree:  the thing to do is throw him a bone.  Give him a decent-sized order, far enough ahead of time, that we’re not pressed, schedule-wise.  Then watch and see.  My take is:  he’s young, hungry guy, who will do a job for us.  But I know I am an optimist. Matt’s greater experience here on the ground tempers my wanting to see a winner to make my products better.  Time will tell.

As usual, I take pictures of things that catch my eyeballs.  Here’s another shot of the red bundle thingys from my last post. 

John Miller guessed right.  They’re recently-dyed, red bamboo sparkler sticks.  This is the way they dry ‘em.  What’s even cooler is to see how the gals make these little symmetrical stacks.

This is the last stop today, and our crazy renta-driver is an absolutely insane speed-freak driving us back to the office.  Chinese driving is not for the faint-of-heart.  Lines don’t mean anything.  Which side of the road you’re on means nothing.  It’s nothing to be hurtling north on a 4-lane road and have two cars abreast passing a cop car driving southbound, straight at you on your side of the road.  I am not making this up.  At a toll booth, our cazy southbound driver actually tried to cheat and go thru the northbound booth (big red X light over it)!

Reminds me of when Tom Weidlein tried to sneak across the border INTO Iraq (for the fun of it, that’s Tom) in the early 80′s.  They nabbed him and threw him into Abu Ghraib before being in Abu Ghraib was cool.  Nobody back home even knew he was missing until we saw him on the front page of the Washington Post, released, unharmed from Saddam’s prison.)

Our driver gets caught, too, and they back his young ass up, and move him into the right lane.  But nobody really cares.  It’s just normal driving in China.

Nighttime in Liuyang, 18th floor of the Yintian Hotel.

I’m on the balcony looking down at the Liuyang River.  Gold lights from the bridge silhouette the sampans below. 

Brightly lit up pagoda in the background on a hill through the light mist across the river. Misty and cold.  Fireworks going off nearby in different directions.  You can hear the pops and salute bangs.  Leaning on the balcony rail, Tsingtao in hand, taking it all in.  Chinese background music actually playing somewhere nearby, like the score for this particular, perfect movie scene.  The close of another fine day in the fireworks capital of the world.

The New Sparkler Factory Near Liuyang is a post from: Confessions of a Fireworks Man

And what a breakfast. Everything imaginable from regular ole Western eggs and suchlike, to a huge variety of fruits and Chinese food.  Matt steers me over to the dim sum, little steamed packets of orgasmic stuff of every shape and taste imaginable. I’ve had ‘em back home, but believe me; the stuff that passes for Chinese food in the US is NOT!

Hey, I have to fess up: I didn’t come over here to look at fireworks. I came here to do some serious eating. And when even the hotel food is incredible, you know you’re in the right place. If you come to Liuyang in Hunan, be forewarned, it can be hot schtuff, as you will see.

After chewing the fireworks fat over dim sum and coffee, Matt and I headed next door to his office. While he met with his staff, I got to work checking packaging and labels, and testing the samples they had gathered for me of each different product in my current order, as well as some first-pass prototypes. Most of this was stuff like sparklers and poppers, so I just tested right there in the office with a window open to get rid of the smoke.

You need to understand Liuyang is a Fireworks Town. People test anything, anywhere. It’s the way it’s done. Nobody complains. It ain’t like where we live. Nosireebob.

I found some problems. Some with product performance, some with packaging, and one product I just don’t like the look of. Not one bit. I make notes, take photos, decide what changes have to be made.

For some of the items, all I have to do is give Matt a list of changes, and they will get done without any further work on my part. Other changes cannot be made this time. We’ll have to make the changes next time; production is too far along, and we definitely want my container to ship around the end of the month. But we find a couple of problems and opportunities that we really need to go to the factories to work through.

So, Matt, Annie-our funny and fabulous translator, and I head off to visit factories. Now, some of the products I’m buying are fireworks, but many are not. And, in some cases, I’m not going tell you exactly what we were looking at, because, frankly I don’t want my competitors knowing about these new products before we get them. The first stop is for one of my secret products.

Matt had gotten some samples from one factory for this product. To me, everything about them was wrong. The packaging sucked. The product didn’t look good. They didn’t work consistently. Basically, they were just made sloppily, and obviously without any love.

They were so crappy, I told Matt I wouldn’t take them. Not only have I rejected the product, but I think it’s so bad, that I don’t even want to get the manufacturer to try and fix it. It’s that bad. Two weeks to go before my container ships, and I have just rejected 25% of what goes into it. This is a big deal.

So, now we’ve arrived at a restaurant out in the country to have lunch with the woman who owns another factory that makes this product. (I have high hopes their quality is superior.) Now, I could write a whole blog post just about any one of the meals we get here. The locals laughed at me taking lots of pictures of what to them is commonplace and ordinary. But there’s one from lunch that you need to see: steamed fish completely covered in a nice crust of crushed red pepper. Also swimming in about half an inch of red pepper and chili oil. I think they only left the head and eyes alone we’d know who we were eating.

This is how you meet the people you’re going to buy from—over eye and mouth-watering firecracker fish and tea. It’s very much part of the process over here. They meet you and they feed you.

Annie handles a slew of questions I have for the factory owner. I get good vibes. The owner, a woman, looks me in the eye when she talks. She’s straight, no b/s. I think I see integrity. Auspicious. I really want the product her factory makes. In a big way. This one visit is the most important one of the trip for me.

We leave the restaurant and drive over to her factory. We get a tour of the production areas. I snap millions of pictures, to the eternal glee of the (mostly) women there doing the work. This product has a lot of parts, some of them very small. I see a lot of attention to detail. I see people looking at the parts carefully, checking how they fit together, clipping and trimming off stray bits. Best of all, I see big boxes and bags of rejects, at every workstation. That is a very good sign.

I see the product finally assembled, and look at them. Carefully. I know this product already; so I know what it should look like when done well and finished. This product is done well.

The owner lady takes us to the testing area with a big box of products. Cups of tea come, and big plate of pomelo sections. Always food and tea. Always. The samples come in a lotta colors and configurations. We test them all. Matt has never actually seen one these work they way they are ‘sposed to. I wait with bated breath for the first one to be lit. Hoping. Hoping it’ll work right.

It lights, it does its thing, and it is absolutely flawless!

And we light one after another, and they all perform perfectly. I am happy. Really happy. More than any of the products in our order this time, I have come half way around the world to get this particular one right. Four hours ago, I had rejected our order for the product completely. Now, we have an excellent product and, after some haggling and compromise, a promise from the owners that they can get my order for 200 cases finished by the end of the month! In time for our scheduled shipment.

This has made my whole trip worth it. I know this product. I know how much people like it. And I know how to sell a lot of them. And as far as I know, nobody else in the US has them. So, if I can get my hands on this first 200 cases, I can do what I like to do best in this business—marketing. I know who wants the product, how to reach them, and how to sell them. It’s just getting a good, solid product that remains. And it looks good in that respect. It’s never a sure thing over here, of course. Something can still go wrong. But at least we have all the pieces in place.

So, after many smiles, hand-shakes, and thank-you’s, off we go to visit a new sparkler factory.

Here’s a puzzle for you.  It has two parts: What do you think the red things are, and what are they doing? First person to post a comment with the right answer to both parts wins a ????? I’ll give you the answer next time.

Harry Gilliam
Chief Cook & Bottle Washer

One Bad Product, A Close Call is a post from: Confessions of a Fireworks Man

Signs here are often in Chinese and English.  That can be a good thing.  Especially, like me, if you don’t understand the language and are cursed with an innate fear of abandonment at all airports.  (Hey, it’s happened to me!)

For instance, as I entered the Shenzhen airport yesterday, I was immediately put at ease by this reassuring brass sign posted right over the front door.

Even the Chinese have their problems with terrorists.  So, it’s good to know that the Shenzhen airport was not one where you have to worry about such things.

There was, of course, a little glitch with the plane, but they managed to put me and about 120 of my Chinese friends on a spare one they had lying around out on the pavement.  Bused us all to it.  I got on, and because the flight from Shenzhen to Changsha is only an hour, the flight attendants scrambled to get us all something to munch on.  I was happy to receive a drink of something claimed to be tea, and a pack prominently labeled in big-lettered, easy-to-read English:  “Aviation Food.”

Again, that was comforting to me.  I was definitely glad they didn’t send any of the other kinds of food along on my flight.  I want the real stuff.  Good, wholesome aviation food—manna in heaven (although some call it rice cake).

Landed late in the day in Changsha.  Weather was cool, but not really cold, and for the first time in three trips in as many years, I actually saw the sun for the first time.  What strikes one immediately here, is the amount of air-pollution.  I have never seen blue skies in China.  Not once in a total of six weeks of travel. 

So, seeing the sun setting in Changsha was an event.

As usual, too much to take in on my ride through town.  I did however, appreciate the big neon sign archway over the entrance to “Business Street” so I would know what they do on that particular street. 

Got to the hotel, a stupendous place.  My absolutely luxurious 18th floor room cost about what some Super 8s in the US do.  Had yet another great Chinese dinner (check out the desert rice/sugar/spice thingy) and headed up to my room early.  Around 9, the doorbell rang, and two pretty girls were there to wish me good night with a complementary basket of fruit and cocktail tomatoes.  Wonderful hotel.  About 80 bucks.  Back home, it’d run you $300-$500 in any big American city.

Caught up some email and did some real work before turning in.  Around 3 AM, the clock radio went off.  I reached for it, but there wasn’t any clock radio.  But Chinese flute music was playing.  Loud.  From outside! 

At 3 AM.  In the street…moving down the street.  From a loudspeaker on a car or truck.  Weird, Chinese flute music being played on the street, while everything else was quiet as a church mouse.  Well, thank God it was heading down the street, and fading.  What the hell was THAT about?  Tried to drift back to sleep.

Zzzzzz…. That FLUTE again!  Coming back.  What IS this?  At 3 o’clock in the morning.  This went on for 10 minutes, back and forth up the street, then finally stopped.

Zzzzzz…. Took two hours to finally get back to sleep. I never did figure out what it was about.  Maybe a holdover from the days when Mao figured out a way to keep people from sleeping in too late for work.

You know what?  It works!  I was fully awake, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, pecking away writing this post at 3:15 AM.  That Mao.  He knew.  He knew.

Mao’s Alarm Clock is a post from: Confessions of a Fireworks Man

Even managed to snag a bunch of dragon eyes to munch on and had ‘em for breakfast this morning.  You can’t get good dragon eyes in Round Hill, Virginia.  Just peel a good dragon eye, and pop it in your mouth.  Doesn’t get any better than this.

You see the damnedest things in Hong Kong. Like the street with all the birds’ nest shops.  Dozens of them.  Open Sunday, even.  Guys sitting right inside the doorway, waiting for somebody to come by and get a nice birds nest for supper.

I can just hear it now:  ‘Oh, and honey?’  my little woman chirps.

‘Yeah?’  says I, on the way out the door to run a couple of errands.

‘Honey, would you pick up some birds’ nests on the way home?’

‘Sure, babe. Not a problem. What kind you want this time?’ ever the doting, caring husband, chimes I.

‘mmmm’  we had crows’ nests last week.  Let’s do swallows.’  She’s such a great kid, sometimes.  She knows swallows are my favorite.

‘Okey dokey.  52 swallows’ nests, coming right up.’  And I am out the door, heading down the hill to get the dry cleaning, and hit the money machine.  I’m finished in record time, and jag left up a side street.  There it is, the swallows’ nest shop.

My pal, Sue Choi, is sitting just inside the door picking feathers and stuff out of a pale white, translucent nest.  Takes her about a half an hour per nest.  But when she’s finished, they’re clean as a whistle.  That’s why I shop here.  I think they have the cleanest nests on the street. 

Cheap, they ain’t.  Oh, I can get cheaper ones, the nests that still have the little baby bird down in them. 

And my brother-in-law’s uncle’s cousin says you can’t taste the difference.

Bull.  Those feathers have that little-birdy taste.  And who the hell wants little baby bird down fluffing up the top of their soup?  Not I, said the fly.  Nope.  I’ll pay twice as much to get Sue Choi’s handpicked nests any day.

And those nests are just like consumer fireworks.  You probly think that we just drive up to the big ole fireworks Costco here in China, point at what we want, and then they ship it back to the good ole US of A, whereupon we mark it up 200 times and foist it off on you.

Not quite.  Other than marking it up that much, it ain’t that easy.  Nosireebob.

(By the way, in less time than it took me to write what you’ve read so far, two whole cruise ships have parked themselves at the dock out front. 

Look.   Hey, I never knew it takes 10 or 12 guys and a tug boat to tie up a big ship.  And they can do it in about 5 minutes.)

Nope.  Somebody has to make sure that every single little detail is looked after.  Little things like making sure the tips of the finished sparklers are dipped in a black powder slurry prime so they’ll light easier. 

But’s an extra step.  It costs.  And somebody has to make sure the factory does it. 

Which is why ‘brands’ of fireworks are a good thing.  Brands are something you can rely on.  Because, whether you know it or not, somebody is picking at all the little details to make sure every single type of firework is done right.

And you cannot imagine the work that goes into making just one kind of firework thing, one fountain, for instance, and getting it all the way to you, safely and legally.  It is amazing.  And what’s more amazing to me is that they are so cheap, even after we mark them up 600 times.

And like the feathery birds’ nests, you definitely can get cheaper fireworks than the branded variety. But, you can also depend on the cheaper ones having more problems, performing less reliably, and not looking as good.

Now, I doubt if I took this whole trip to describe all the things that go into making one type of consumer firework, I doubt if I could do justice to describing everything that goes into that one’all the people, effort, R&D, testing, compliance, packaging, shipping, etc.  But I will give you a shot of some of it, as we go along together.

I’m leaving Hong Kong today, and going into Hunan, the province with more fireworks factories than any other place on the planet.  I’ll meet up with Matt Palaszynski, who picks the feathers out of the fireworks that Skylighter imports.  He’s an Americano, married to a Chinese lady he met when he worked over here for GE. 

Now, he’s another fireworks man.

I used to buy from one of the big brands.  They make great fireworks.  But now I get everything through Matt, because he gives me really personal service, and helps me get all the weird and wonderful things that fireworks makers want.  He manages the whole process for me, and is a terrific host when I’m in Liuyang, to boot.  And Matt and I have fun doing this.  We’re both fireworks nuts (how could you be in this crazy business and not be?)  And we like working on getting new stuff made and into your hot little hands.

God willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll post another one of these tomorrow (internet connections are painfully slow here).  Maybe tell you about how good dragon eyes taste.

By the way, there’s free potassium nitrate at Skylighter again. Click here to check it out.

Harry Gilliam
Chief Cook & Bottle Washer

Which birds’ nest for supper? is a post from: Confessions of a Fireworks Man